Screw the Stigma. Make the Call.

I can confidently say I have never regretted calling my pediatrician or taking my kids in for a sick visit. But I confess I do hesitate every time I make the call.

I have had seasons of my life where I call often, repeatedly, daily even. With concerns about feeding, fevers, falling off the slide. If I’m internally questioning an area of my children’s health, I call. I have also had long stretches with little to no contact. Even to the point of forgetting to schedule well visits. 

The staff at our pediatrician’s office is always understanding, encouraging, and flexible. They make it easy for me to run over for a quick check or follow up. The doctors are responsive and helpful if I need to talk something through over the phone. I live close to the office so I don’t think much of it for that reason. 

Leaving the house with 2 or 3 kids in tow is inconvenient no matter what. Whether it’s for sports, something school related, on a whim, or a necessary appointment, there is always an ordeal. Who needs to get dressed, put shoes on; who needs to use the bathroom; who needs to bring a car snack (yup even for the 4 minute ride); who needs to find a certain toy or there will be hell to pay. We almost never get out the door with our dignity. 

All that being said, I never have remorse for running one of my littles over to the doctor’s office. Sometimes it’s just to get a quick peek in their ears, or look at a weird rash, or listen to their cough. Things I can’t do on my own at home for them. It is worth making the trip. It gives me peace of mind. And that is priceless.

I’ve made the trip and it turns out to be nothing, but I don’t regret it. I could have saved myself the trouble but oh well, it was worth it to have that peace of mind. 

I’ve made the trip and it turns out my intuition was right, we needed medicine, treatment, some course of action. I’ve felt justified. Patting myself on the back for listening to my gut.

But I always hesitate. I always debate if I should call to ask the question, or make the appointment. I question and second guess myself and overthink it from all angles. So I’ve been wondering about this lately. Why so much back and forth if after over 7 years of parenting, I know perfectly well that a simple phone call or quick appointment will be for the best for everyone? My children’s health. My peace of mind. It’s a no-brainer. Just make the call. But still I hesitate and procrastinate almost every time. What is up with that?!

Here’s what I think. I don’t want to seem like the paranoid parent. The germaphobe. The hypochondriac. The over reactor. That stigma of the anxious mom, the one who gets the eyeroll. Getting worked up and bothering someone for a false alarm. 

Well I’ve decided I don’t care. 

As a mom I have enough to worry about and figure out without adding any extra concerns regarding what kind of category I might fall into. It’s my job to speak up for my kids, especially when it comes to their health and safety. 

There are plenty of times our household passes around a virus or a cold and we just ride it out on chicken soup, snuggles, and sleepless nights. But once in a while something makes me call in the experts for advice or reinforcements or simply to be a sounding board. How do I know where that line is? 

You could say it’s “maternal instinct” or a “mother’s intuition”, but quite honestly it’s really more of a shot in the dark. We talk a lot about “trusting your gut” but it takes time to develop that trust, just like anything else. And sometimes we even second guess that as well. Not to mention the pressure it puts on us to get it right every time. Don’t even get me started on that one!

The bottom line is, it takes a village, as we all know. So when in doubt, pick up the phone and make the call. I am giving you permission. And on top of that, you have permission to break the paranoid parent stigma, or whatever else is boxing you in. Because we all need one less thing to worry about so we can focus on what really matters.